u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
babies were throwing up all over the place
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
