Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
