My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
