If i come over, it means nothing
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
