Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
