bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
