fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize