I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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