omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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