So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize
