1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
