shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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