Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize
