the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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