allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
ttyl tear gas
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
