have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
