so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
