atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
