I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
should my penis look like a turkey
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
