Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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