summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
