her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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