I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize