You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
