I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
