This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
