Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
