Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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