I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
