im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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