Just fell off a train. Bad.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
