i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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