I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
