Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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