hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
