He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
