Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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