can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
