i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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