I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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