So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You pole danced in your parka.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize