Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
