it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize