therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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