i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize