Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize