Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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