So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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