I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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