Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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