Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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