he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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