i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
