Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
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