I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
