I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
