Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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