Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
