Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
