Screwed.edu
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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