This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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