how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
