I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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