I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
