I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
