Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
