She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
