Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
