i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
