It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so let's talk penis.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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