she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
