never play flip cup with pint glasses
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I am one with the molecules
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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