you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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