the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
