no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
