I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
