The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
