everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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