we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
