Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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