U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
