You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize