I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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