I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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